So, as a little segue.. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but wow. I'm hilarious. Like, really, really funny. I just started giggling at the thought of my hilarity. It's kind of ridiculous.
Anyway - at first I thought that I was only hilarious to myself - which isn't all that bad, really, because it means that I laugh a lot and I'm assuming frown lines come from smiling and no one wants those badboys.
Today, I learned that my little sister thinks I am (and these are legit quotes, people) "the funniest human being in the history of the world". Okay. Maybe that sentence was prefaced with "you might be", but whatever! These simple details mean nothing.
I will share with you the reason that she deigned me as Princess-Funniest-In-The-History-of-The-Universe (funny people can ad-lib a bit) because I feel like it's very practical and everyone should profit from my insight and knowledge. Her reasoning is due to my response to a conundrum she has found herself in. This gal has left the country to travel big, and is currently living in Spain, like the world-traveler she is. Everything is great; she lives near the beach, she's super hot.. the world is her oyster. Except that she has this problem...an annoying roommate.
Not just an annoying roommate, but a roommate who has studied English and Psychology in University, and has deigned herself (who DOES that?) as the be-all-and-end-all of how to do ANYTHING. My poor sister is being analyzed and criticized and basically all the izes and it's driving her nuts. Enter, my hilarity:
'My suggestion is to come up with a bunch of really annoying habits yourself, like always answering her questions with a question:
"And why do you ask?"
"And how does that make you feel?"
"And how do you feel Freud would interpret that question?"
...Eff with her... Slowly cut her hair so that one side is shorter than the other, over the course of 4 months. Seriously. She'll either think that a) she's going crazy, or b) her hair grows faster on one side than it does on the other! Then you can make comments like, pointedly looking at her hair and being like "Did you do something different with your hair? It looks shorter on one side." And then you can recommend 'hair tinctures' to make her hair grow properly. Really gross things, like smearing a banana over your hair. Stuff like that. Then, at least, you can laugh to yourself while being annoyed. Annoy her back like no one's business. That's what I say!'
See? Hilarious AND practical! Please feel free to utilize this method in extreme situations of roommate angst, but note:I can not be held liable for the results of this!
Off to do princessy things! Ciao!