Plastic - Eat Fresh

I am all about a good sandwich. I seriously spend time thinking and talking about what it takes to be a good sandwich, where to find the best sandwiches in town, and what combination of toppings makes the perfect sandwich. And I know I'm not the only one!

I even have a sandwich place in town where I order the boss' secret sauce, because it's not the secret sauce on the menu, it's a legit secret sauce that they hide and I think it has something to do with the mafia.

That looks like a tasty sandwich!
 So.. Today.. Well. I had a sandwich experience at a local sub chain. Can I say the name on this blog? No one reads it anyway! I thought I would share with you the extremely long-winded email I wrote to the company after a sub-par experience (haha! Get it!? SUB-par!?).


Hello Subway!

I have been a patron of this Subway location for almost two years, now. The staff was always friendly - my coworker and I deigned it as the best Subway in Kitchener!

I consider myself a sandwich expert. My coworker and I have spent a considerable amount of time talking about the quality of a good sandwich and what it takes to be a true "Sandwich Artist" (I know this is weird, but it started off because we discovered that we adore the same sub, and have taken to splitting a foot long in half, so that it's faster and saves us money! This means inconsistencies become blatently obvious. If the toppings aren't equally distributed across the canvas, one of us has a ham sub and the other has lettuce.).

We both love a good sandwich, and today at lunch, when I tucked into my delicious sub, imagine my chagrin when the piece of tomato I was trying to savour turned out to be a 4" long piece of PLASTIC.


The offending plastic.
Now, I'm a reasonable person. I know it's probably just the plastic from the wrapper of one of the food products I was eating, and I knew it wouldn't cause me to die or anything, but it was four inches long and it turned my stomach!

I wanted to bring this to your attention, because I have reason to believe that these employees of yours are imposters and not the sandwich artists they would have you believe they are. They're passing off forgeries as the real deal, and it's completely unacceptable.

The biggest fraud is a tall young man, who I believe to be wanted by Interpol for crimes against sandwiches. Not only is he abrasive and condescending towards his colleagues, his attention to detail is severely lacking. A kindergartener could make a better sandwich.

I believe it is his lack of finesse and attention that resulted in the foreign object in my sandwich.

I'm very disappointed. I have to believe that sandwich artestry means as much to you as it does to me, and felt I needed to bring this to your attention post haste!

Thank you for your time,


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